Raptor Virus

“You haven’t been sick till you’ve had raptor virus.” he told me, grinning all self satisfied like he did when he was proud of something.

I let that hang, not wanting to seem too interested. But raptor virus? What the fuck could that be? Giving in, I met his eye and asked, “Okay, what’s raptor virus?”

“Oh” he said, “Pretty much the worst thing ever.”

I sighed and warned, “If you tell me you get it by traveling back to the Jurassic era, I’ll punch you.”

He shook his head a little and said, “Don’t worry, you’d never catch raptor virus during the Jurassic era.”

“So what is it?” I asked again.

“A virus you catch from travelling back to the Cretaceous period and trying to ride a raptor, duh.” He flinched away as I swatted at his shoulder before half shouting, “Hey! What’s that for?!”

I paused and met his eye, thinking a moment in order to communicate my thoughts as unambiguously as possible. A few moments passed before I answered, “If I had more options, we wouldn’t be together.”

He chuckled and muttered, “And that’s why you don’t have more options.”

 

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