I guess it’s been a while. Consistency isn’t really my thing. I guess that’s okay for what is essentially an anonymous e-diary.
But like most things online, silence is good. It means I haven’t needed the outlet, because I was already smiling. Not perpetually, but often. I have a lot to love in my life right now and that’s mind blowing. I feel so lucky. I love her, she loves me, and now we have a home. I have my desk and art supplies and my keyboard and a career path and music and everything I need to exist.
I’m living a snapshot of what I used to dream about. I hope it doesn’t change but terrified because it inevitably will. But maybe it’ll be for the better. Maybe I’ll finally grow up.
I keep coming back to my blog and thinking I really should post something. But…I just didn’t need it like I used to. I don’t have anything to air out; to work out or think through. I don’t feel like the same kid who named their diary after an evil pirate from a fairy-tale. I need to rename it. I don’t feel like an outcast anymore. I feel loved and my old format doesn’t reflect that.