EMT training.

I took a detailed Basic Life Support course last Wednesday in preparation for my EMT basic this summer. It was a six hour chunk I was sort of dreading having to tackle over Spring Break. To my surprise, I really enjoyed the experience. For those of you who don’t know, and it’s not like I mention this too often, I’m a chemist at the University of Iowa. My course-work is firmly grounded in the theoretical as opposed to the practical.

I was expecting this to be like my lectures and courses I have taken over the past four years, but it ended up feeling a lot more like a relaxed lab-day. The only practical part of chemistry is lab-work, after all. But it’s mostly tainted by things like heat and entropy reactions which involve literally staring at a filtration or distillation set-up for hours on end, all the while hoping your product is what it should be, since you’ll have to start over if the mel-temp says it melts early or late (GC or IR or any measure of purity really). Those days are nerve-wracking.

This was different. The instructors were lively and we had practical assessments that followed each unit of the course. This made me want to pay attention, because I felt like I was going to use or need the content instead of simply scribbling tidbits to transcribe onto little flashcards I’d use once or twice. That’s why I’m excited to take EMT basic this summer. I’m thinking it will be comprised of mostly practical applications and tests that seem like the perfect change of pace for me. It’s not that I hate chemistry, I love a lot of things about it, it’s just that I feel like I’m slowly becoming inadequate and falling behind. The more time I spend drawing and writing and creating things that matter to me, the harder it feels to care about my course-work, which is still important. I’ve spent years pursuing this and I’m right at the end, but I’m faltering and it’s terrifying. I know I’m capable of seeing it through.

What’s Improvement Anyway?

To me it seems simple. Get a little better at being who you are each day. I’ve felt a lot less like a derailed train recently. All that’s changed: I’ve stopped trying to be something more than who I am. Instead, I just focus on being me. I think I’ve gotten better at being me, too. Sure I might fail at some stuff, but as long as I keep at it, I’ll get through it. I’m ready for you midterms!


PS: Thanks to my doggo Rufus for letting me use his pic on my Blog again. You a good boi ❤

Art, writing, and a Mugshot of my Doggo.

Hi! Just a casual update on what projects I’ve been tackling over the past two months. I got a little side tracked from my zodiac project over the holidays (for the right reasons). I added a few more metallic flourishes to Sagittarius: IMG_7526After that I spent a good bit of time being anxious about whether or not to paint a background and what colors to use on the figure itself. So naturally I just drew something else!

My friends b-day was in early December, so I drew the cleric-beast from Bloodbourne: IMG_7428Pics a little blurry, sorry about that! I used a reference image. Actually I basically just copied the games concept art! A cute little piece of plagiarism? It sounds nicer if you just say fan art, you decide <3. Here’s the original: 

After that I started writing more and just relaxing for the holidays. I have a heavy load this semester, so I want to do my best to enjoy vacation before jumping into the meat grinder. I’ve mostly just been doodling unplanned drawings and working on my book.

Here is a lovely portrait of my doggo, Rufus. And before you ask, yes, he is available for casting in any of your movies. He’s a stone-cold professional, and will be a diva.


Blood-Hound (Poem + Drawing)

Blood Hound   —–>PDF with proper formatting, manuscript below. 



I’ll be your sick-bird,
you be my blood-hound,
My hearts in your mouth,
Breaking neck spins round.
You’re not the one to blame,
You see; I can’t complain,
This is all you’ve known.
Blackened bloody mold,
Just doing what you’re told.

Your love was a warhead,
A straight time-bomb,
You taught me this lesson,
That I ain’t so strong.
Take your pound of flesh,
Don’t matter if it’s right,
Hit me while I’m fresh,
You know I’ll never fight,
As long as you let me,
Love you more than this life.

So here’s to that jaw,
Tightening ‘round me,
I’m just your dead-bird,
So be my blood-hound,
‘Cause baby,
You’re the one with teeth.
And all I am is meat.


7×11 cut watercolor, Pen and marker. Edited fox